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December 2008

Attention PARR convention attendees!
I will be presenting a workshop on "Goal Setting and Goal Achievement" on Wednesday January 7th, 2009 @ 2pm in Palm Springs. I look forward to seeing you there!

• ENERGY LEADERSHIP - Article
• HIGH HOLY DAYS ANXIETY? - Results
• THIRTY DAYS - Poem
• SCHTICK HISTORIES - 'Practically Rabbinic'
• FOUR POPULAR MYTHS ABOUT LEADERSHIP - Market Place
• FORWARD THINKING - Forum Questions
• FIFTY DOLLARS IS FIFTY DOLLARS - Humor
• ENERGY - Quotes

A company once sent two shoe salespeople to an area in Africa where they had never sold any shoes. One was their senior, most experienced salesmen, Tom, and they expected big things of him.

The other was an optimistic rookie named Cynthia. She didn't have much experience, but she had a lot of enthusiasm. They figured she might be able to sell a few pair of shoes.

Shortly after their arrival in Africa, Tom, the experienced salesperson, wrote the home office saying, "You might as well bring me back. Nobody here wears shoes."

The rookie, Cynthia, wired the home office an urgent message: "Send me all the shoes you've got. Nobody here is wearing shoes!"

You may have heard this "joke" before - but it illustrates a key difference between anabolic and catabolic leaders. Two people, faced with the same situation, yet having totally different reactions. What's the difference between them? In a word, ENERGY - Tom is catabolic and Cynthia is anabolic.

Anabolic describes energy that is positive, constructive, healing and growth-oriented. It allows one to move forward and achieve positive, successful results. Anabolic energy is highly useful in leading others in the same direction. Catabolic describes energy that is draining, destructive and very toxic.

Which one are you? Do you spend a majority of your time focused on what is going wrong, how 'stuck' you are or perhaps feel overwhelmed much of the time? Do you find yourself getting angry or frustrated more than you would like? Do you see a situation, and focus first on what needs fixed or improved? Is life a struggle?

Or, do you perceive your world like Cynthia? Do you see opportunity where others only see 'issues'? Do you feel in control of your life on a very regular basis? Do you accept others for who they are? Are you a person who inspires and motivates those around you? Do you take a challenge and create the solution?

These are just some questions that if answered 'yes', can help one determine where their energy typically resides. What is exciting is that if you seem to align more with Tom's way of thinking and wish to take on the perception of Cynthia, it is all within your realm of control!

Please take a few minutes to review our new page on the website, www.leadinggrowth.com under Energy Leadership. If you are interested in taking the Energy Leadership Assessment to begin understanding how your energy currently resonates among the 7 various levels, please call Natalie Hyatt at 224-715-2091 to get started.

We all know how good it feels to resonate in anabolic levels of energy and how draining it can be to resonate in catabolic levels. Success and fulfillment come easier to us when we generate positive energy. Learn how you can achieve more anabolic energy in your life and improve your overall performance at work and at home.

Let's review the past Forum results, on the topic of 'High Holy Days Anxiety'.

Last quarter, we asked a few questions regarding how you best manage your time during the High Holy Day season. Thanks to all of you who responded. Here are the responses:

When it comes to feeling in control on a 'regular basis':

• 75% feel satisfied or extremely satisfied with their perceived level of control
• 10% feel dissatisfied with their perceived level of control

However when it comes to feeling in control during the High Holy Day season:

• 45% feel satisfied or extremely satisfied with their perceived level of control
• 40% feel dissatisfied with their perceived level of control

From this we can see that the overall level of satisfaction drops by 66% while dissatisfaction jumps by a whopping 300% during High Holy Days!

Here are the tools, practices and ideas which your colleagues use to help better manage themselves during this busy season:

• 60% - Block time during the day to write sermons
• 40% - Schedule time for fun and enjoyment
• 35% - Regularly exercise
• 35% -Delegate more during this season
• 30% - Limit their meetings for a month prior to High Holy Days.

Other ideas provided include:

• Having a great administrative assistant who filters phone calls and keeps me on schedule
• Preparing for sermons throughout the year by writing down ideas as they occur, journaling observations/conversations/films/books/etc. which resonate as possible sermon topics. This really relieves anxiety and gives one a feeling of 'one leg up'!

By Rabbi Scott Looper

Every day I gather another stone
to throw at your grave.
I walk with my head down, like a farmer clearing a field for planting;
searching for one, perfectly shaped, worn out stone.

one, two, three . . .
those early days when I had not yet realized
you would not be coming back.
Now I know.

Still,
after thirty found stones there are days:
tens of minutes
when it feels as if my mourning is sharply new.

Others have begun to vanish too
tired of waiting
as if every stone should erase
one year of grief.

For thirty days I have put rocks in my pockets
- handicapping, counting off sheloshim -
waiting to drop them, one by one
onto an unveiled brass marker;
to ping off of your name
and relevant dates.

You were two-thirds of my life.
Why shouldn't I lie down with you?

Scott Looper was ordained in 1989 from the HUC- JIR in Cincinnati, Ohio. Scott has served for over 14 years as the Rabbi for Congregation Or Shalom in Vernon Hills, IL. Scott also makes a great turkey for the holidays!

By Rabbi David J. Meyer
An Advice Column for Folks in the Field

Early on in my student rabbi years, my responsibilities included conducting various "Tot Shabbat" services in a few different settings in congregations around southern California for families with young children of ages around two through six. I would lead songs with my guitar, conduct some of the basic prayers of the service, and tell a little story to serve as a sermon for the morning. A few weeks into the year, while telling one of the folk tales, I was surprised by how familiar the kids were with the message. I asked them how they knew so much about the story, and they gleefully responded, "Because you told us this story last month!" It was then that I began taking better notes.

It is staggering to consider how much material we create, teach, provide and share during the course of our days, weeks and months, and we are nonetheless expected to be fresh and original at EACH AND every turn. Although young children might enjoy hearing stories or messages again and again, for the most part, we need to be mindful of the stories, d'rashot, homilies and illustratives that we utilize in all of the various settings and occasions and years. And I learned early on to keep notes.

I keep files of various "Shtick Histories" as Word documents, which make it easy to search with key words to find out when and where I've utilized certain stories, divrei Torah, homilies, and other such lessons. I suggest to my colleagues that they create files such as:

Stories.doc: Every time a story, folk tale, etc. is used in any setting, it should be catalogued with the date and location. Of course stories can be re-told, but there should be some attention paid to how often, when last, and where the same story has been recited.

Charges.doc: These are the charges delivered to B'nai Mitzvah students, and keeping track helps assure that siblings, cousins and close friends aren't given the same message within a few years time. Folks remember, and lots of these occasions get recorded.

Divrei Torah.doc: It's not just because I'm over 50, but over the years, I've had occasions of coming up with a D'var Torah for Shabbat or Festival worship - thinking it's something new and fresh - and then remembering that "Oh yeah - I did that 2 years ago." Keep a record of every D'var Torah delivered, indexed by both Parashah and occasion. You can deliver the same message again, but I'd wait five years or more to do so.

B.O.T. Study.doc: This is a record of all of the Divrei Torah I've given at our monthly Temple Board meetings.

Torah Study.doc: This is a record of the themes I've focused on with our Torah Study gathering over the years.

Wedtalks.doc: Homilies given during weddings. Again, a lot of our weddings are recorded, and you don't want to repeat your homily to related couples or when the guests come from the same general social circles. I have sublistings for about a dozen different homilies from which I tend to choose based on the couple's personality, history, the time of year, etc.

And there are several other such files I keep.

PRACTICALLY RABBINIC: In a way that's sort of similar to using on-line checking to manage your household cash flow, keeping good records of your SHTICK HISTORY helps you make the best use of your favorite materials, and enables you to stay fresh and innovative in all of the various settings in which you find yourself teaching and preaching day by day, and year after year.

Chazak, chazak,
David

David J. Meyer was ordained in 1986 from HUC-JIR, and has served for the past sixteen years as Senior Rabbi of Temple Emanu-El in Marblehead, MA.

Rabbi Edwin C. Goldberg
Temple Judea, Coral Gables, Florida
Sharing the Best of What I Read on the Topic of Leadership

I love the study of Midrash. There is something about reading a commentary on the Torah that appeals to me. Sometimes, however, it is good to go back to the source, the Torah itself. Likewise, as much as I appreciate the insights of executive coaches and best selling leadership books, sometimes one must return to the Mountain. Now, if we were speaking of the modern-day Moses of leadership science, then there is only one man who fits the bill, Peter Drucker. But if we consider the leadership equivalent of Mount Sinai, then the answer is also clear: the Harvard Business Review.

I recently received a copy of a collection of articles from the HBR, entitled, Leadership Insights: 15 Unique Perspectives on Effective Leadership. From this book, many "midrashic" collections could be composed. (The book is free with a new subscription to the HBR @ 1.800.274.3214.) I would like to focus simply on a small insert - the equivalent of a word within a single biblical verse. The editors of the HBR point out they have seen executives who profoundly misunderstand what makes an inspirational leader. Here are four of the most common myths (according to my restating them in my own words):

1. Everyone can be a leader. In an age in which our kids are told "everyone gets a trophy" it is not hard to wonder why we think everyone is a leader. In truth, the temperament required for leadership is not universally granted. Some people make great followers. And that should be enough. Leaders need the skills AND the desire to do the hard work necessary, and for the right reasons.
2. Leaders deliver business results. No. Leaders deliver good process. Sometimes success follows, sometimes not.
3. People who get to the top are leaders. Not necessarily. They are good at manipulating an outcome, but that is not leadership. Having political acumen does not make you a good leader.
4. Leaders are great coaches. Rarely is this true. Good coaches cultivate a special talent. Good leaders inspire through their vision. The skills and talents are quite different.

I hope these brief insights will inspire you to delve more deeply into the accumulated wisdom of the HBR or wherever you find priceless gems of leadership science.

Attention: Have you published a book recently or would like to tell us about an upcoming book? What is your favorite book and why? How has it impacted your life? This is the place to share it! We anxiously await your contributions!

This month, our survey focuses on "Forward Thinking". Please take a few minutes to tell us what you would do with an extra hour every day as well as what you would like to eliminate from your life. Remember, the surveys are completely anonymous!

Please click on the link below, and take a moment to answer a few simple questions:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=kQwtM7xMvHvQ_2fVPVMNXkFg_3d_3d

Also, be sure to check back in the next Advantage Newsletter to see how your colleagues responded.

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

Energy and persistence alter all things.
Benjamin Franklin

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.
Peace Pilgrim

Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.
Oprah Winfrey

Goals help you channel your energy into action.
Les Brown

A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
Ralph Lauren

All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination. Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.
Napoleon Hill

All submissions that support any of the items above are welcome for possible publishing in any future newsletter.