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August 2009

• DEFINING MOMENTS - Article
• DEFINING MOMENTS - Forum Questions
• PEAK MOMENTS IN OUR CONGREGANTS' LIVES - Article
• KNOW THY COPIER - 'Practically Rabbinic'
• FOCUS, CONTROL, AND PERSPECTIVE - Market Place
• THE CONTEST - Humor
• REFLECTIONS - Quotes

By Natalie Hyatt

If you were to take a few minutes to reflect back on your life, what are your defining moments? Did they happen unexpectedly? Was there planning on your part that allowed them to occur? And, if you were to begin planning your future defining moment, what would that look like?

If one were to look back on their life, he or she would probably be able to specifically note a defining moment or two. Defining moments are those times where either we've had an interaction with someone or have been involved in some event or situation that has altered the way we think, feel or act moving forward. It may be a word from a stranger, or an ordeal that has been lived over many months that has allowed us to learn, grow and change the course of our lives. For some, they would say it was a near-death experience. For others, it was a few simple words from a stranger.

There is one significant defining moment which I look back upon and realize the enormity of the impact it had on me and continues to have on me. It was during the funeral of one of my uncles. This uncle was the sort of person who would make an effort to visit his relatives anytime he happened to be in their city on business. He travelled extensively all over the world but really enjoyed the times he spent with family. He was the president of the family owned company as well as the president of his congregation. He was highly regarded in the city of Buffalo, NY as a community supporter and great leader. He spoke at the local universities on leadership. During family gatherings, he was always making us laugh and more often than not, had a huge smile on his face. He truly enjoyed life to the fullest. One would never guess that at the age of 4, he lost his leg during a storm when a tree branch fell on him. He was an avid tennis player, and loved golf and swimming. The loss of his leg never held him back. His fatal heart attack came while playing a strenuous game of tennis against a much younger player.

During his funeral, I sat in the very last row, observing all of those that had come to pay their respects and also say a few words about this great man. The temple was filled to capacity and had been opened up as if ready for High Holy Days. If I were to guess, I would say 700-800 people were in attendance. So, why was this a defining moment in my life? As I self-reflected, I realized that with the life I was currently living, my funeral might be attended by 10 people if I were lucky! I became very depressed that day and decided then, that change had to happen. My new goal and driving force, became the desire to make a positive and lasting impression on people and hopefully influence their lives in the way that my uncle influenced the lives of those present at his funeral.

I challenge you to think back on your defining moment or moments and understand the change that occurred because of it. Are you happy with the current path of your life? If not, how can you create a new defining moment for yourself? What would it take to seize the moment and create the opportunity that lies ahead?

This month, our survey focuses on "Defining Moments". Please take a few minutes to answer questions having to do with defining moments. Remember, the surveys are completely anonymous!

Please click on the link below, and take a moment to answer a few simple questions:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=_2binu85mO9Rv7ta4YDfW5cA_3d_3d

Be sure to check back in the next Advantage Newsletter to see how your colleagues responded.

By Rabbi Scott Looper

During my twenty years in the rabbinate I have experienced many "peak moments," but rarely have they been about me or for me. Rather, I have found reward and joy in what my congregants' experience - in their peak moments. At times, these moments, usually centered on life-cycle events, are obvious to me. At other times, I am unaware of the significance that my words or a gesture have upon a person or persons, only to be told at a later time of the "peak moment" I engendered. Ultimately, I am unconcerned over how I feel; the rabbinate is too full of ups and downs and I try not to be swayed in either direction. While I may feel badly if I cause hurt and good if I bring pleasure, essentially, how I feel is not important. What is important, however, is how my congregants feel. As I see it, our job as rabbis is not about us; our egos are not to be fed. Instead it is the heart and souls, the lives of our congregants, for whom we should be concerned - their "peak moments" that reinforce their connection to faith and community.

Scott Looper was ordained in 1989 from the HUC- JIR in Cincinnati, Ohio. Scott has served for over 14 years as the Rabbi for Congregation Or Shalom in Vernon Hills, IL.

By Rabbi David J. Meyer
An Advice Column for Folks in the Field

At a conference not long ago, during one of the requisite shmooze times between workshops, one of my colleagues commented: "A smart rabbi once taught me: Never show them that you know how to work the copier machine."

OK, that's a sure-fire strategy for limiting the ability of staff, members, and leadership to call upon us for mundane, "non-rabbinical" work for which any number of support personnel or volunteers might just as easily be capable of handling.

Similarly, a very highly respected and cherished colleague who recently retired from his congregation of some twenty years confided to me: "I never owned the key to the Temple. I never felt it was my job to open the building," he reasoned. "That's why the Temple hires custodians."

My own approach has been pretty much the polar opposite. I have always carried a key to the building, and I have absolutely been certain to know how to work the copier. And the Riso. And the computer software, and the wheelchair lifts, and the postage machine, and the heating controls... and... and... and...

I recall my very first day at my very first job as a Rabbi. I had only recently returned to Los Angeles following my year in Israel, and I was getting set to work an Internship at a synagogue in Northridge, California. Speaking with the Senior Rabbi about my first Friday night with the congregation, we were dividing up the worship service, deciding who would do what. Services were to begin at 8:00pm, and my colleague asked me to please arrive to the Temple by 6:30. I was a bit taken aback, as I wasn't certain what would take so long to prepare. I wasn't giving the sermon or handling any other, complex assignment. I think I was just supposed to lead the Amidah.

"I'm sorry," I asked rather bashfully. "But I pretty much know the service material. Why do I need to get there so early?"

"Well," he said matter-of-factly. "It's going to take a little time for me to show you where all of the light switches are." He went on. "I've always believed that you can't even think about being the Rabbi until you're comfortable being the shammes."

Here's a point where some might certainly disagree, but throughout my career, I've been thankful that I've known where to find all of the switches and plugs, and how to work pretty much every piece of equipment in the building, and every machine in the office. Why? Because unforeseen and even emergency situations have come up more often that I can even recount when I've needed to produce materials after hours, on a weekend, or at the very last minute. A kid's name got left off the Family Service booklet... I decided to change a song for a handout... A member's parent had fallen and needed use of the chair-lift... Such examples are endless, and it is only my own, personal knowledge of the office tools and other building equipment that has kept me from being stuck or limited when such emergencies have arisen.

Yes, nearly thirty years after my first day at my first job, I still make it my business to know where all of the light switches are, not to mention breaker switches, alarm switches, and Main Computer Server switches are and how to work them all. And that knowledge allows me to overcome unforeseen complications and continue to perform avodat kodesh - the holy work that is of course my primary focus, responsibility, and concern.

PRACTICALLY RABBINIC: First be the shammes. Know how to work everything - just in case.

Chazak, chazak,

David

(David J. Meyer was ordained in 1986 from HUC-JIR, and has served for the past sixteen years as Senior Rabbi of Temple Emanu-El in Marblehead, MA. He carries a key.)

Rabbi Edwin C. Goldberg
Temple Judea, Coral Gables, Florida
A review of books by David Allen

Books:
GETTING THINGS DONE: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
MAKING IT ALL WORK: Winning at the Game of Work and the Business of Life

As I endlessly tell my brilliant but disorganized son, organization is a vital element of success. There were many far more intelligent classmates of mine in rabbinical school, but their grades suffered because they had trouble completing assignments. They were overwhelmed. Working as rabbis is not easy. Organization is not tangential to our success; it is vital.

David Allen is the modern guru of organization. His books help the reader learn to prioritize and systematize everything in one's life. Getting Things Done was published first in 2001 (now followed up recently by Making It All Work). In the last few years a cottage business has been created to teach executives this method (GTD).

I read GTD last year and, although sometimes overwhelmed by the system (I read it on my Amazon Kindle which in this case did not help), I was inspired to make my organized life even more structured. I am now reading the new book and find it helpful in simplifying the advice and coaching presented in the earlier one.

Both books seek to help the executive seek focus, control and perspective in life, from the business to the personal. In our ever more anxious age of endless emails, financial pressures, and 24/7 agendas, such strategies could not be more timely. Basically, it reminds us to ask the right questions, make the right plan, and follow it. Simple? Yes! But in the reality of our lives nothing could me more important: you have to have a plan if you want to succeed. David Allen helps us plan.

The books - and their complementary products - don't replace the need for a coach, but they provide a great deal of stimulation and edification. I highly recommend that we put David Allen on our side in the war of organization verses chaos. If you are a Twitter fan, you can now follow David Allen on Twitter.

Attention: Have you published a book recently or would like to tell us about an upcoming book? What is your favorite book and why? How has it impacted your life? This is the place to share it! We anxiously await your contributions!

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So, they each go into the woods, find a bear and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

"When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

"I found a bear by the stream", says the minister, "and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
Stephen Covey

"I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them"
George Bernard Shaw

"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
Aldous Huxley

"A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience"
Oliver Wendell Holmes, (Physician and writer)

"Change your thoughts and you change the world"
Harold R McAlindon, (writer)

All submissions that support any of the items above are welcome for possible publishing in any future newsletter.